Children

I like to tell my children the story of their births. To my older one, I explain that after he was birth, he let out the typical “WAHHHHH” and then quickly quieted himself, opened his eyes, and started studying the world, observing everything. To my younger one, I explain that after he was born, he let out the typical “WAHHHHH” and then fell back in a deep slumber. Darshan, Darshan, I tell him how I poked his soft, wrinkled body to get him to wake up and breastfeed. But he wouldn’t wake up. He took his own sweet time.

My kids are the same now as they are older. The younger one always studious, observant, not wanting to miss any detail or movement, or the opportunity to problem solve. The younger one, in no hurry or rush to get ready for school, content in his closet lost in a world of Lego building or art.

Many people describe their children’s births as one of the best moments of their lives. A moment that’s thrilling, exhilarating that exemplifies the best known surprise that life has to offer. As a pediatrician, I am a daily witness to the later phases of this phenomenon, where parents bring their sick children to me, and no matter how rich or poor, no matter where they live, they (mostly) share an undying love for their children, a deep desire for health, to seek solutions, to calm their fears about whatever ails their children. It’s my daily work, and this love that a parent has for their children, beginning in those first thrilling moments, in many ways, is a universal principal.

Yet, if this is true, why don’t we as a society honor children, and the work required to care for these children more? Teaching is a very low paying profession. Amongst all medical specialties, pediatrics is at the bottom, and fewer and fewer medical students have an interest in pediatrics. Reimbursement for Medicaid (public insurance for children living in low income families) is far below that of Medicare. The work of women who choose to stay home to raise children (also known as stay-at-home-moms) is wholly unrecognized, and often criticized in every way possible.

This baffles me becuase every single human being on this earth was once a child.

Lately, I ponder this more and more, as laws protecting children are quickly placed on the chopping block. Section 504, which mandates education for children with special needs at school. Medicaid funding. Support for vaccinations, which are undoubtedly protective for children and have eradicated disease to the extent that pediatricians today have no idea how measles, diphtheria, and polio actually manifest clinically. Not to mention food aid and other anti-poverty programs around the world, which affect children, the most vulnerable. In Texas, public education is on the precipice of being defunded by politicians that assert themselves as God-fearing. The hypocrisies are abound.

As a pediatrician, I face discrimination from other non-pediatrician physicians.

I could NEVER do that, these physicians who care for adults state, like pediatrics is a disease of some sort. Their foreheads wrinkle with disgust, as if they’ve tasted spoilt milk. Within medicine, caring for children is the least desired! After all, children cry and scream. Teenagers roll their eyes, are defiant, and lie about everything from sexual activity to drug use. Parents are a royal pain in the you know what, hyper-anxious, hyper-vigilant. And when I say parents, I mean mothers. Fathers are, broadly-speaking, notoriously absent for office visits, and when they are present, are often found to be either sleeping, scrolling on their phones, or half-listening. Father who are fully present and involved are praised for doing the bare minimum. Other physicians who care for only adults view pediatrics through an entirely negative lens, one that I wonder is painted by a societal bias against children. A bias that is entirely hypocritical given the unparalleled experience that loving parents have with their own children.

In fact, caring for children at any level in society, be it teaching, be it policy or in the medical field, is the greatest gift and service that life on Earth has to offer. Caring for children is proof that “a little goes a long way.” An act of kindness or encouragement by a teacher lasts a lifetime. The ability to breathe bestowed by inhaled medication lasts a lifetime. And policy that protects children lasts a lifetime, and has boundless returns.

But what connects service to children in all respects? A child’s voice. In society, we simply don’t respect the voice of children. They’re cute, have magical ideas, and say goofy things. They draw funny pictures and we pretend to be interested. Kids can’t vote. They can’t approach the government and demand that the teacher that encouraged them get a raise. They cannot protest in the “effective” way that adults can without an adult telling them to stop at this very moment or else I will take X, Y, and Z away. When a child cries, be it at home, or at the doctor’s, it’s inconvenient and enough to deter the majority of medical students to detest the idea of becoming a pediatrician.

But here’s what I see as the joy in pediatrics - discovering that my patient is an artist and seeing pictures of their work on the phone. Hearing about a patient able to go through cheer practice without stopping to be short of breath. Hearing from a parent that their child is sleeping better because i told them to get rid of the TV in their room, and now their child is paying better attention at school. Seeing a child with severe disabilities breathe more comfortably with tools to expel mucus, which improves the quality of the life of the whole family. Gratitude in the eyes of the parent is one of the greatest rewards I’ve ever experienced.

Right now, at this very moment, is a time when all of us need to speak up for the sake of children. When we collectively advocate for children, then communities will thrive. We have to remember that each and every one of us was a child, deserving of love, and when we received it, how we felt and how this shaped our lives. We have to force ourselves to think about children who experience a dearth of this love and attention in the form of education, policy or financial support, or medical support, and what could have been had those people, those future adults, received the necessary support.

Many of us who are parents perform this advocacy on a daily basis. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, caregivers, godparents all know this as well, as do teachers, and some policymakers, and many healthcare professionals who work with children.

There has been a lot of current events discussion in our household. My older son begs me, “Don’t keep the news from me. I want to know what’s happening.” My younger son comes home from school with tidbits that he’s learned during Black History Month. He has learned very well, what’s “good” and “bad.” Everyday as I see them grow, I’m astounded as I think back to that day they were born, when i simultaneously was in awe of their tiny hands and feet, and curious as to who they would become, what would be the trajectory of their lives. I imagine that my parents experienced similar feelings.